Can I also tell you how much I love this social distancing? Yes, we have so many new issues and worries that are happening in our home. It is not a perfect place. But I love being with my family and all our imperfections. One of the biggest trials of my life was during my early years of infertility. Everyone that was struggling with their children or living on two hours of sleep, believed it would be comforting to say to me, "you're lucky you don't have to deal with this." Or "Your lucky you can sleep through the night." Or "Enjoy it while it lasts, 'cause when you do have kids ____" Fill in the blank yourself because everything that could be said, was said to me. However not once did I have the rose-colored illusion that having a baby or children was easy.
I would look at that mother at church, sitting in the pew by herself with five kids under seven, struggling to stay sane and I wanted to be her. I wanted to be the mom hiding in her closet for a moment of peace before her screaming children found her. I wanted to be that mom at the grocery store ignoring her whining child as he begged for everything off the shelves. That struggle was what I wanted. So when I say I love every minute of being a mom, it's because now when I lock myself in the bathroom, hoping for a moment of peace, I smile. AND when my child is throwing a tantrum and slamming the door, I try very hard to hide the small chortle that rises in my throat.
I'm a mom! Finally! I'm a mom.
Quarantined Easter has given me quite a few of these moments. The pure happy and rosy moments where my children astonish me with how thoughtful and caring they are or how well they play together. It's also been full of those moments where I wonder how much more the neighbors can take before they come to see if it really is my child screaming or a cat dying in our backyard.
I am so happy to be sealed to this little family of mine forever and even more blessed to be safe at home with them through these times. I know it's a scary time where many are confused, but I am completely in my comfort zone and trying not to think of the day when the world speeds up again. You roll all that gratitude together with the joy of knowing I have a Savior and Redeemer, his name is Jesus Christ. Because of him I can repent and be forgiven for my sin, which I am thankful for because it is sure hard to do anything right on this earth, With all that gratitude I hope you can see why I'm loving my life right now.
I know, My testimony isn't always expressed well in words, so I often use music. The two songs that were sung most in my home this weekend were Gethsemene and the Miracle. In Miracle the lyrics simply state,
Jesus bled and died
to save me.
A price that I could never pay alone.
When he rose again he gave me
the greatest gift the world
has ever known!
Yes I can be forgiven every time that I repent
And someday He will lift me up
to live with him again.
Jesus is a god of miracles.
Nothing is at all impossible to Him
But I know this
of all His miracles the most incredible must be
the miracle that rescues me!
The Miracle that rescues YOU and ME!
This is my testimony, this is my family. And we're loving our Quarantined Easter Sunday.
Egg Hunts and Confetti Egg Adventures
HAPPY EASTER
No comments:
Post a Comment