Our Birth Mother's Story

A note from me, before you read: Some of our family and friends have asked questions about our relationship with Mason's Birth Mother. After these last two years I can say for a fact, that open adoption is very hard to comprehend unless you experience it first hand. Which is why many people are confused when Mitch and I talk enthusiastically about the time we spend with Christine and the entire Lehr family. 

The story below might not give you a better idea of our relationship, but it will give you an idea of what this wonderful girl, now woman, thought and felt during the most difficult time of her life. We love and support her, and I am thankful she agreed to let me share her story.

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I am hoping by the end of this, the healing process will get a little easier having everything off of my chest! My name is Christine Hall and I placed my son for adoption two and a half years ago! What is adoption? For me adoption is the most selfless kind of love and it brings families together in a way no one can really describe! So here it goes, the whole story, beginning to present time! 

It is hard for me to tell my story, but it helps me heal a little faster each time I share it! Let me start in August of 2011. I graduated high school and thought i was going to have a fun summer before college. Well, it was fun all right, finding out I was pregnant and sitting there in tears not knowing what to even think, not knowing what my parents would think and the biggest one is not knowing what I was going to do. 

I first called the birth father and told him and of course his answer is well we will raise the baby together or get an abortion. Abortion? Yeah, not going to happen! I told him I needed his help to figure this out and I didn't get much of that the whole pregnancy. 

So weeks went by and I started getting morning sickness and my mom got suspicious and yes she was the one to pretty much tell me I was pregnant. Sitting in the car with her in the Target parking lot and her asking me if we needed to buy a test and of course I said, Nope. My mom was there everyday through the pregnancy and told me about all her stories of being pregnant and what to expect when I was in the hospital.  So she told my dad, which I didn't think I could do myself and they told my brother and I was the one to tell my little sister! 

Oh man, her reaction was heart breaking and surprising, words were said that day I thought would never come from her! Sitting in front of 7-11 and telling her I had something she should know and I just spit the words out and she went off for a good few minutes. She calmed down and we talked and I told her I was going to need support going through this and we both agreed on that. 

So a few more weeks passed and my parents wanted me to explore my options, so we headed to LDS services! Sitting there talking about single parenting and adoption was a choice I didn't think I would be making this young. So after that first initial talk my case worker, and amazing friend to this day JeanMarie, helped with every step of this endless and painful journey! We started looking at profiles and just not knowing what to think, praying about all this helped so much with my decision. It was hard to get my head wrapped around the fact that there was a little human developing inside me! 

At five months we found out it was a little boy and it made the decision harder. I have always wanted a little boy first, to be the big brother that I had. The big brother to be there to beat up the mean people and just always be there for me! So on Christmas Eve of 2011, we were having Family Home Evening and we were getting to the closing prayer and I told my family I needed to say something. Sitting there looking at my belly, I started by saying I am going to need all the support I can get from you guys. I proceeded to say that after all my praying I had my decision made and that I was going to be placing this little boy for adoption and that it was not in any way going to be easy. 

Looking at all there faces I saw emotions stirring and tears rolling as I was barely able to breath after I got that off my chest. After all the tears and hugs that were shared I could finally rest a little easier, except for being five months pregnant and huge, I could breath a little easier knowing that I had my mind made up. 

One main reason I decided to place this baby was to have a father in his life like I did. A father to be there to talk to him about sports, to teach him life lessons and to be there every moment of his life. My dad is just like that and I am so grateful to have such an amazing father, to support me with everything and teach me all that I needed to know.  

Going to school definitely helped me keep my mind busy and not just thinking of this decision all day. So in January of 2012 with just four months to go I had picked a family, not knowing what to think I decided to meet with them. Mitch and Brooke Parks, the most beautiful, loving and perfect couple! They are so incredible and understanding, I cannot even begin to describe how grateful I am to have them in my life. 

Not knowing the hard journey they went through themselves and that I was about to add one more to there little family. We met at the LDS services with my family along with JeanMarie and before we got to talking Brooke handed me a film canister with a beautiful necklace that had a little figure that symbolized dance, because the two things we have in common and one of the main reasons I chose this wonderful couple, is dance and photography! 

I was quiet most the time with this little boy kicking like crazy and my parents doing most of the talking. We decided on having an open adoption and at the time none of us knew what that meant just yet. So I spent the next few months getting to know them and asking all kinds of questions just to be sure this was the best decision and it was. We came to the conclusion of having pictures weekly and updates on how the little man was doing, they also have a blog that I love to get on and see there side of the story. 

The four months went by fast. I was due April 11th and I thought it would be funny to have him born on April 1st, because it would be funny to see who would actually believe me. But nope, this little man came on the 4th and it was a very painful and beautiful day. 

I was prom dress shopping with my sister and had a feeling to go to the bathroom and when I get in there I feel this pressure and see something I usually don't when I use the restroom. So I came out and I was like "hey Bug, I think my water just broke" She freaked out! We get into the car and call my dad to figure out how to get to the hospital from where we were and she is going crazy. So my dad tells me to keep calm and I turn the speaker on so he can hear everything she is saying and I was like I'm the calm one here. Then texting JeanMarie on the way there that I was at the hospital and to go ahead and tell Mitch and Brooke to drive on down from Elko, NV, a very long drive for them. 

So we get to the ER around 11:30 and tell them that I think my water broke, so they put me in a dumb wheelchair and take me up to Labor and Delivery. Getting up there I find out my water is partially broke and the next best thing happened, the lady got to break the rest of it for me, so much fun. Now in so much more pain and in the ugliest, most revealing hospital gown I lay there waiting for my parents to get there and my sister saying I will never get pregnant. They arrive and then they move me to a room so I can have more privacy and a different place for me to yell and scream. Not able to eat, ice chips became my best friend and I was starving at the time. 

So the hours went by and an epidural was a must now, little did I know getting that stupid needle in your back is not a cake walk, hence why they had to poke me four freaking times! So my mom finally telling me to suck it up and stop moving they got the needle in and I was happier after the juice kicked in. Many more hours went by and my awesome Aunt Amy came to visit with Dairy Queen for everyone, but me! I was thinking this is so wrong and I cannot wait to eat whatever the heck I want after all this is finally over. But that wasn't the best part of my night, the doctor comes in and tells us the babies heart rate is slowing and he is turning different directions and the cord was trying to make a lovely scarf for the baby, so we were just going to do a cesarean. 

Yeah JUST surgery, that's not scary at all, thanks doctor for the news I never wanted hear! So me flipping out now and just wanted this over with I agreed and wanted a blessing from my dad and brother, but when they left to get oil they were already prepping me and my mom for surgery. My wonderful mother dressed in the oh so stylish outfit and me with my drugged up face and blue cap on my head, we were ready before they could get back, which I was not happy about. 

Now headed to the operating room, not knowing what to think about all this, I look at my mom and know that she will be there by my side. Laying on the table with a curtain in front of me and all sorts of weird feelings and pressure going on down there, along with my thankful mother taking pictures over the curtain of the best view. 

Then there he was at 10:17 p.m. a beautiful, not crying baby boy, they had to take him away to get him to cry and get some air in those lungs. Getting stitched up, exhausted and just wanting to sleep with these wonderful drugs in my system, I got sent to another room and didn't know what was going on. Not remembering everything, I think I got to see him at least once and then he was wired up and watched for a little bit and they needed to get him to cry so they decided on a bath and that is when he let it go and screamed at the top of his lungs. 

Mitch and Brooke made it to the hospital and ran straight up to see him since I was in wonderland and not speaking to anyone. There he is a whole 8 lbs 10 oz and 21 inches long, a very big boy and also a good eater. Brooke got to feed him and he drank that whole thing up pretty quick and she was so surprised. 

The next morning I got to actually have some time with him, now that I was more alive. Holding that innocent baby boy, with a head full of the softest black hair, just staring at him and thinking to myself how I am going to go through with this in three days. I had 72 hours until I had to make the hardest decision I will ever make and I needed to spend this time with my now one day old son. 

They decided on the name Mason Glen and I couldn't have picked a more perfect name for this little jellybean. My whole family was in and out as well as friends to come and meet him. Mitch and Brooke were right there with me and spent the time getting to know there newest family member. We spent the time taking pictures and laughing about all the funny sounds and cute faces he was always making. 

The two pictures that always come to my mind when I think of those three days is first, the picture of Mason's feet with both of there wedding bands on his little toes and just knowing he is going to be sealed in the temple and have an eternal family and always be loved. The second picture and my personal favorite is of Brooke holding Mason and me loving on his soft cheeks, that picture shows me that Mason will forever have two mommies. He will have a mom that will be there everyday to hold his hand and teach him all kinds of cool stuff and then he will have me as his mom that gave him a better life and is always going to be there to love him and laugh at all the funny things he does growing up and laugh even harder knowing I did those same things. 

On pain meds of course and my incision hurting, the nurse comes in and tells me its time to get walking. Very slowly I slide out of the bed and start shuffling along, they said I could push Mason in his bed on my walks, so we did just that. As we head out to the bright hallway Mason immediately scrunched his face at the very bright lights. He got used to them as we made our way around the hallway, those are the moments I will always cherish. 

So two days were spent with everyone and then on that last day I wanted to spend some one on one time with my son. Just holding him knowing where he is going and how loved he will be by so many people his whole life. Looking at the cute smile and big eyes, holding him just a little tighter knowing the next time I get to hold him he wont be this small. Just trying to capture and put images in my head that will forever be memorable and that I know will be a once in a lifetime moment. On that last day Mitch and Brooke kept there minds busy and went to build a bear and got two identical bears, one for me that I named Chase and one that they would take pictures with Mason every month to see how big he is getting and they named him Chris after me. 

When signing the papers I could not be on any drugs and that was hard because I was in so much pain physically and emotionally. This decision changed my life and without it I wouldn't be where I am and who I am today. The 72 hours was up and I asked to be alone with Mason for just a little longer before everyone came in and I signed those papers. 

Holding that precious and innocent little boy, knowing he will have the best life full of family, laughter and everything he will ever need to grow into an amazing person right at the touch of his fingers. The emotions were high and I had thought that I just could not sign those papers and so I text JeanMarie and told her I couldn't do this and she at the time was getting out of the car and didn't see my text and that to me was a sign that I need to go ahead and place this little bundle of joy. 

So now with absolutely everyone surrounding me with all sorts of emotions and thoughts running through everyone's head. My whole family, the nurses, JeanMarie and Mason's parents standing there all wondering what will happen next. With me holding this beautiful baby boy in one arm and a pen in my hand, I look down at him and he lets go a little smile that reassures my decision. Signing those papers and giving him a kiss on the forehead, I make my way out of the bed and place him in his brand new father's arms and just stepped back and realized what just happened. The tears started to roll. I give him one last kiss and then into the dumb wheelchair I go again. Being taken out of the room was heart breaking and I couldn't stay calm and as the nurse is telling my dad to give me some good sleeping drugs when I get home, everything was spinning and I just wanted to hold him again. 

Now outside getting into the car and just trying to relax at least a little didn't seem possible for me anytime soon. Mason with his mommy and daddy now in that hospital room and they let them stay overnight because they had a long drive ahead of them in the morning. Brooke was not able to sleep and was too busy staring at her son and Mitch had no problem getting to sleep that night knowing of the long drive in the morning. 

Driving home that night I just could not stop thinking of how much of a better life he will have now with those two amazing people as his parents. Getting home and in the house was fun considering I was not on drugs and just wanted to be asleep, laying on the couch and trying to stop the tears just long enough for me to fall asleep. Waking up the next morning and in so much pain I realized what had happened and emotions were stirring. Brooke was sure to text me about the long drive and how neither Mason or them were enjoying the diaper changes in the car. He had so much love waiting for him at home, family and friends welcoming this baby to the Park's family. The healing process had begun and it was not easy in any way. Trying to get up to use the restroom was enough moving for me. Just thinking of everything, knowing that this journey has just begun and there was a long road ahead of me, a life of opportunities was waiting for me and I just needed to push myself to get there. 

I received many pictures from Brooke and the tears started again, but it was tears of happiness mostly. This time looking at him in his new crib and all the wonderful things he received from everyone. Weeks went by and pictures and texts kept coming, that was my favorite part and still is to this day, because it's just a little reminder of the amazing life I gave this little boy. I was so eager and ready to get back to doing everything I was doing before and started working out a little too soon. My incision tore open a little and that set me back just a little bit. My mom took me to the urgent care to get it cleaned and closed shut and then I had to relax a little after that and start the healing process over to get that completely closed up. 

When I felt good I got a job and loved that I had something to do rather than just sit on the couch at home. At the time I was writing a missionary who is now my husband and he came home in August and we went on our first date the Friday he came home. Chaz was on his mission when I told him I was pregnant on Christmas Day and what I remember him saying is that no matter what decision I make we will have a relationship after he gets home. So we did just that we started dating the end of August and my first visit with Mason was coming up in January and I was nervous to see Chaz's reaction to everything. 

Mitch and Brooke took a job offer and moved to Murray and I was surprised because now they will be in another state. The months went by and we went to conference together and spent a lot of time with our families and then our first Christmas together was perfect. January came and we headed up North to meet Mitch, Brooke and now nine month old Mason, who started walking at just eight months so it was going to be fun to see how much he moved around. We hung out inside because it was too cold to be outside at all and we just talked and had an amazing time. 

Me and my sister took Mason away for a little bit and helped him walk and took a million pictures and had the best time. Chaz was really cool with everything, but hesitant towards the situation and I wouldn't blame him, because I honestly didn't know how I was going to react to all of this. We took a whole bunch of pictures and we said our farewells, but to me it will never be a goodbye it will always be a see you later. 

Of course crying in the car, we made our way home and tried to stay warm, we got home and I knew I would see him in another nine months. Me and Chaz continued dating and when April came along I knew it would be hard knowing Mason was turning one. It was crazy how fast time flew by and Mason was walking, talking and loving everything. The actual day was hard, but my mom kept my mind occupied by going shopping and getting our nails done, thinking this was all for Mason week. But I was wrong because Chaz took me on the most memorable and amazing date the next day. He took me to the temple and we stood in front of the fountain and I knew something was going on because my mom and dad were there with a video camera. Being suspicious about this I turned around and Chaz begins to tell me how he truly loves me and the real reason he brought me there was to ask me to be his forever. 

He got down on his knee and I of course started crying and said yes to this wonderful man of mine. We went on to dinner that night and all of this now makes that week a lot easier for me to handle each year. So the wedding planning started and Mitch and Brooke were excited for all of this and excited to come to the wedding. Being engaged and deciding on moving to Utah ourselves, we packed everything up and moved to St. George. We lived in student housing and worked until the wedding in September and it helped us get to know each other more knowing we only had each other while being in a new place. 

Our next visit with Mason and his wonderful family was in Provo this time and it was just me, Chaz and my little sister who plays softball at BYU. We snagged her up and went to a little park down the street where we met the family and also Mason's aunt, uncle and baby cousin were there. Running around chasing the little guy, watching him go down all the slides and seeing him play a little football with his dad was just what I needed. The visit coming to an end because Mason was getting very tired and not too happy about anything, I handed him a little gift and we went on our way. 

The next month in September I got sealed to my best friend in the San Diego Temple and it was a breath taking moment to look my eternal companion in the eye over the altar. We had family and friends to share this day with us and spent the day in San Diego enjoying everything. Two days later we had the reception in Las Vegas, where we are originally from, everyone running around getting things ready and me freaking out on how I look. As I was getting my makeup and hair touched up I hear a little voice and look over to see Mason smiling and wondering what the heck is going on. He ran around the whole night with food always in two hands and I got to have a wonderful night with him and all my friends and family. 

I am happily married and can honestly say that adoption is not the end, there will always be a journey waiting for everyone that is involved in such a selfless love. The most recent visit was at the Living Planet Aquarium in Sandy and EVERYONE went this time. All eight of us in a van and bonding together. We had so much fun that day and Mason had been there before so he showed us all his favorite things and ran around loving every bit of it. 

After the journey of the aquarium we went to get some food and hangout before heading our separate ways. I took Mason on a walk because he wasn't too interested in the food and we went and played in the grass and took some pictures and I am glad I got those few minutes to spend with him and run around with him. 

All in the parking lot saying our see you later's, Brooke asked Mason to say the sixth article of faith for us all, and that is when me, my mom, sister and sister in law started crying all at the same time. He was two and a few months and can already recite this perfectly. His memory is incredible and now at two and a half he has one through eight memorized and it is wonderful knowing he is being raised in the church. 

Now married for a year and my husband understanding the adoption world a little more, it makes everything so much easier that he will always support me in this decision. The recent news from Mitch and Brooke is that they took up another job offer and will be moving to Wyoming very soon, hearing this is hard and knowing visits will have to be planned further in advanced, but God has a plan for everything and that is where they need to be. Now we moved to Utah after they did, but I think Wyoming is a little too far and cold for me to move there after they do. Mason is excited to live with the cows and horses, but for right now packing his toys was not an option just yet. 

I have the best relationship with my adoptive couple and we are completely open in this adoption journey, we share so much with each other and I consider them my family and know they are doing everything for this boy. Our families have a great relationship as well and I love the visits where we can all come together and talk about everything and along the way watch this little boy grow, laugh, cry and most all be loved by every single one of us. 

I love the life I am living and am forever grateful that I am a big part in the adoption community and will be telling my story to anyone that will listen. I am thankful for all the people in my life, especially my wonderful and amazing family for staying by my side through this never ending and life changing story. This is no where near the end of this story and I will add more as the years go by!